There are only a few things that catch and hold my attention. Not being a prude but my attention span loses to my 2month old puppies. I would'nt win a staring competition if I wanted to if something bright walked by in the backdrop and I'd blink and move away to realise it was a new Mango or Prada bag- totally worth it, or as Charlie Sheen would say (better say it before he manages to get a trademark)- Still winning!
Here's what caught my attention and held it recently. I found this in a colleagues mailbox (No I wasn't hacking her account, I was simply doing a part of my job-and yes it involves opening other peoples' mail I.D's):
"Today I made a formal Affidavit before the Oath Commissioner in Meerut whereby I have declared that considering the overall adverse and undesirable effects of Caste system in India, from today onwards, I shall be having no caste of mine. Thus, in all administrative, official and social documents, records and acceptances, wherever caste is needed,in my case it shall be deemed to be “No Caste” or “Caste-less”. I have also removed the “T*****r” surname attached to my name “A******” so that henceforth I shall be called only “A******” instead of “A****** T*****” in all administrative, official and social documents, records and acceptances. At the same time, I shall also be working in my own little way towards the cause of a Caste-less society. How would my friends react to it?"
I blanked out the name and NO those aren't expletives but look at the bigger picture. I share the sentiment. Not only caste but the larger picture-stereotypes. You would expect me to say 'Thank god I'm not a Hindu and don't have to deal with this caste crap' but if you were to know Christians are also divided into different sects, not necessarily upper or lower as the castes are divided but divided nevertheless and one is very offended when mistaken for the other.
Religious I am not. As a kid it was becuase I was too lazy to get up for church and too busy asking mom if God did indeed exist then why he was afraid to meet us. As an adult the idea of stereotyping someone because of the religion they belong to disgusts me. Maligning a Muslim because he simply is one, disgusts me. Saying Muslims don't have a bath and stink disgusts me further. Saying a Sikh Sardar is dumb because he is essentially a sardar is demenaing and illogical. Getting offended when your mistakenly mistaken for a south Indian is ridiculous. 'No I am not a Madrasi or Tamil (it is said with a scorn). Do I look black to you?" Are you seeing how superficial it all is-stereotypes? How would MY friends react after reading this is unclear but react they do on most occasions as what I write becomes a topic of debate. Will I be outcast? Not really, I never gelled with the extremists-freaks they are. They might hackle or take it for what it is or tell me it bored them to death but for what I know, they will agree, because most of them are gems in a nation full of rocks-the gem hasn't been discovered yet-hidden beneath layers of stereotypical solidification (is that a word even?) The last part was boring I agree, I go a bit philosophical these days...I am older and wisdom tooth still troubles!
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Sanity amidst chaos!
I return to blogsphere with much to talk about and with changed perceptions, of course someone as fickle minded as me is bound to have a different perception every day but the past two months have passed henceforth-
The hectic month included a no-so-heart-breaking break-up, a growing proximity to work, an increasing remoteness to friends, a new found aversion to food and socialising and a body that has failed me at crucial moments. Not one of my usual cranky rants this, just an account of the astonishingly mundane routine I have settled into.
Waking up to an empty house with no breakfast in bed might be complaints only the pampered are allowed to make, but not something I particularly like myself. Then again waking up to the reflection of my vain self in the mirror and realizing I look much older than my 18-year-old self is no consolation. Then comes the sense of dread. I have to make it to work, do I drive? no it's too expensive. Maybe I will because I'm too lazy to take the metro. Or maybe I won't 'cuz the guys in human resources are sure to find 10ways to deduct my salary...how to survive?
A typical work day revolves around trying to adapt with work shirkers and blame shifters and tolerance to deal with excuses and problems that aren't really my business. But pleasing people is what it takes I've learnt. You smile when you hate and you do good when you feel like killing someone. Doing good, working hard and solving people's problems gives me a sense of superiority which is calming.
People say don't let your contacts and the nature of your job (which in many situations puts me in the position of power) get to your head. After about five months I say-I never got the chance to let it get to my head. There was always someone to point out errors when I'd thought I'd done a good job, always someone to shout at me for no fault of mine, always someone whispering-don't tell that person this (In which case I would be obliged to listen to bitching from both sides and keep it to myself), always that someone telling me to do something their way when I have clear instructions of doing it my way, always someone taking credit for what I have done, or have contributed towards. But I guess that's part of being at the grass root level, guess that keeps me grounded and as much as I hate routines, it is this chaotic routine that keeps me sane.
The hectic month included a no-so-heart-breaking break-up, a growing proximity to work, an increasing remoteness to friends, a new found aversion to food and socialising and a body that has failed me at crucial moments. Not one of my usual cranky rants this, just an account of the astonishingly mundane routine I have settled into.
Waking up to an empty house with no breakfast in bed might be complaints only the pampered are allowed to make, but not something I particularly like myself. Then again waking up to the reflection of my vain self in the mirror and realizing I look much older than my 18-year-old self is no consolation. Then comes the sense of dread. I have to make it to work, do I drive? no it's too expensive. Maybe I will because I'm too lazy to take the metro. Or maybe I won't 'cuz the guys in human resources are sure to find 10ways to deduct my salary...how to survive?
A typical work day revolves around trying to adapt with work shirkers and blame shifters and tolerance to deal with excuses and problems that aren't really my business. But pleasing people is what it takes I've learnt. You smile when you hate and you do good when you feel like killing someone. Doing good, working hard and solving people's problems gives me a sense of superiority which is calming.
People say don't let your contacts and the nature of your job (which in many situations puts me in the position of power) get to your head. After about five months I say-I never got the chance to let it get to my head. There was always someone to point out errors when I'd thought I'd done a good job, always someone to shout at me for no fault of mine, always someone whispering-don't tell that person this (In which case I would be obliged to listen to bitching from both sides and keep it to myself), always that someone telling me to do something their way when I have clear instructions of doing it my way, always someone taking credit for what I have done, or have contributed towards. But I guess that's part of being at the grass root level, guess that keeps me grounded and as much as I hate routines, it is this chaotic routine that keeps me sane.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Journalism synonym Sensationalist
I was very fascinated by the idea of being a journalist primarily because my self-centered mediocre thought process demands attention. To get attention with the resources I had was not very difficult, I was good at writing, reading and well ‘suffering’ from verbal diarrhea- my job options-content writer, content editor and journalist. Journalism fascinated me most and I stepped on to the bandwagon of the millions of people wanting to just be ‘media’. Only difference is I got in and millions every day do not make it. Suckers.
‘Main media mein hoon’ is an oft-used phrase, which, as harmless as it seems, gets you away from the mighty policeman who whimpers for reasons unknown at the sight of a press sticker. Yes, we do have the power of the pen, we can write you off like your whole life’s worth amounts to worthless pennies at the bottom of a muddy pond. I wonder though why the law, and when I saw law I am referring to the policeman himself in the uniform that so many amongst us dread, gives in to the slightest nod of a journalist. I wonder at times that if it isn’t because of the sensation that we create around the job we do.
Yes journalists do publish sensationalist write up’s in order to get maximum readership because that’s what it all boils down to eventually. But they create this certain sensationalism around themselves, they associate with the work they do so much (intruding peoples lives, passing judgments, controlling the way the public reacts to things) that at times it creates an attitude, which keeps their noses high up in the air. I am not condemning journalists by any chance, I am nothing but an inconsequential being in the world wide web of journalists. There is so much still to learn and experience but what I DO NOT look forward to is having an attitude, which exudes superiority to any living person (and the dead can turn in their graves as journalists worldwide ‘dig up’ stories to sensationalize their respective publications ranging from dead people to well all the alive ones). A stereotyping of the lot you could perhaps call this particular rant of mine, but it is not against a set of people, for I am part of that set, it is against the set of values that most people belonging to the set walk around with which I rant against. Again the rants of an insignificant person are seldom heard of, in which case I spare myself the wrath of those with the power of the pen and blend into the clan again, hoping deep inside I do not become what most of them have-sensational;)
‘Main media mein hoon’ is an oft-used phrase, which, as harmless as it seems, gets you away from the mighty policeman who whimpers for reasons unknown at the sight of a press sticker. Yes, we do have the power of the pen, we can write you off like your whole life’s worth amounts to worthless pennies at the bottom of a muddy pond. I wonder though why the law, and when I saw law I am referring to the policeman himself in the uniform that so many amongst us dread, gives in to the slightest nod of a journalist. I wonder at times that if it isn’t because of the sensation that we create around the job we do.
Yes journalists do publish sensationalist write up’s in order to get maximum readership because that’s what it all boils down to eventually. But they create this certain sensationalism around themselves, they associate with the work they do so much (intruding peoples lives, passing judgments, controlling the way the public reacts to things) that at times it creates an attitude, which keeps their noses high up in the air. I am not condemning journalists by any chance, I am nothing but an inconsequential being in the world wide web of journalists. There is so much still to learn and experience but what I DO NOT look forward to is having an attitude, which exudes superiority to any living person (and the dead can turn in their graves as journalists worldwide ‘dig up’ stories to sensationalize their respective publications ranging from dead people to well all the alive ones). A stereotyping of the lot you could perhaps call this particular rant of mine, but it is not against a set of people, for I am part of that set, it is against the set of values that most people belonging to the set walk around with which I rant against. Again the rants of an insignificant person are seldom heard of, in which case I spare myself the wrath of those with the power of the pen and blend into the clan again, hoping deep inside I do not become what most of them have-sensational;)
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Religion-The good, the Bad and the Hypocrite
This particular note consists of my ranting which stems from the fact that I got shouted at for not going to church. My question-Why should I, I have nothing to prove.
Religion to me is like an authoritarian decree. I would like to break free because I have my own point of view and beliefs and forcing me to church every time is not going to make me anymore pious than I already am. It will juts make me repel the church-with its set dogmas. I believe in god but my god is not restricted to a particular religion and with the 'rules' of religion. Do good, but if you don't you get punished-the last I heard, the Catholic god was supposed to be forgiving and patient.
I don't believe host and wine will emancipate me as much as my own beliefs will. And if a human being like me(and only male mostly) blesses the 'body' and 'blood' of Christ, I don't see in which way that 'blessed' communion is going to do me any good than what the belief in my heart can. If going to church, doing good(lets face it, doing good always is not possible) and mugging up a bunch of prayers is going to make me closer to god, then I would rather talk to the god that doesn't believe in an obligatory religion.
I don't see the point in having to wake up early every Sunday for church. Some people like to show that they are pious; some people are pious in their hearts. Sunday morning and/or Saturday evenings; it is obligatory to go to mass on any one of these days according to my family diktats. I am not well acquainted with the working of the church because I rarely go. And if I go I rarely pay attention. My problem with most religions is that the head-priests, pundits, quadi are mostly male, in fact the god's are male too; at least the gods who are most influential are all male.
My rants stem from temper but temper doesn't make me forget the fact that I am what I am and religion will not change me. If there is anything that can change me, it is my set of beliefs which may or may not change with experience. If in a religious squabble, one religion emerges victorious, what does it prove? To me it implies that religion only divides, as much as every religion might preach doing good; they are always at war with each other, which essentially comes to no good. This brings me to my primary question-is religion the hypocrite? I am still figuring this one out in a manner which will not offend any one particular sect-which is why I am still clueless.
Religion to me is like an authoritarian decree. I would like to break free because I have my own point of view and beliefs and forcing me to church every time is not going to make me anymore pious than I already am. It will juts make me repel the church-with its set dogmas. I believe in god but my god is not restricted to a particular religion and with the 'rules' of religion. Do good, but if you don't you get punished-the last I heard, the Catholic god was supposed to be forgiving and patient.
I don't believe host and wine will emancipate me as much as my own beliefs will. And if a human being like me(and only male mostly) blesses the 'body' and 'blood' of Christ, I don't see in which way that 'blessed' communion is going to do me any good than what the belief in my heart can. If going to church, doing good(lets face it, doing good always is not possible) and mugging up a bunch of prayers is going to make me closer to god, then I would rather talk to the god that doesn't believe in an obligatory religion.
I don't see the point in having to wake up early every Sunday for church. Some people like to show that they are pious; some people are pious in their hearts. Sunday morning and/or Saturday evenings; it is obligatory to go to mass on any one of these days according to my family diktats. I am not well acquainted with the working of the church because I rarely go. And if I go I rarely pay attention. My problem with most religions is that the head-priests, pundits, quadi are mostly male, in fact the god's are male too; at least the gods who are most influential are all male.
My rants stem from temper but temper doesn't make me forget the fact that I am what I am and religion will not change me. If there is anything that can change me, it is my set of beliefs which may or may not change with experience. If in a religious squabble, one religion emerges victorious, what does it prove? To me it implies that religion only divides, as much as every religion might preach doing good; they are always at war with each other, which essentially comes to no good. This brings me to my primary question-is religion the hypocrite? I am still figuring this one out in a manner which will not offend any one particular sect-which is why I am still clueless.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
My Jobless Reverie
A long pending list of 'Things to do' adorns my study table half torn after being caught somewhere in between, the many books I enthusiastically started reading, but abandoned midway. I wonder in amazement at the amount of free time i'v had since I got over with my post graduation. I managed a few interviews (cleared one and am waiting for the results of two others)while interspersing quite a few parties in between; only justifying my clichéd philosophy-Work hard, party harder. If appearing for interviews is counted as work then party hard I did.
I pick up the list of things I intended to do while I looked for a job. Losing weight happens to top line the list. Okay well lets skip that, that's never happening. Reading some of the author's I’ve really wanted to, in a long time but couldn't, due to time constraints is next. We all know by now what happened to that resolution. Next on my spirited list happens to be taking a break, and I’m left wondering why I added that to the list, so I cross that out, I’ve had a break too many by now. I have been driven to wit's end with nothing constructive to do all this while, waiting for interview results.
Waiting is not my forte; as optimistic I am about clearing the rest of the job interviews i'v applied for, I don't see the point behind creating an atmosphere of suspense before declaring the results of an interview. It may seem professional to say-'we will get back to you soon', but it definitely isn't professional when 'soon' implies after a week or two. And thus, thanks to weeks of waiting, my current status reads 'jobless and still searching'. Contributing to my sorry state are the inhibitions my parents have about me working at certain places and for certain remuneration. They expect me to fetch above 1,40k annually being an English Honors graduate as anything below that is demeaning and moreover a place like Noida, which is on the outskirts of Delhi, is prohibited. They state the long distance I would have to drive but I know for a fact that playing at the back of their minds is the crime rate.
Oh well, so that brings me back to the pile on my desk again. Jobless with nothing much to do to make my days seem shorter; I resolve on clearing the mess. The list has to go, making place for a new one, the books I shall finish i'm sure, being the voracious reader that I am and all of this I shall do while still lost in 'My Jobless Reverie'!
I pick up the list of things I intended to do while I looked for a job. Losing weight happens to top line the list. Okay well lets skip that, that's never happening. Reading some of the author's I’ve really wanted to, in a long time but couldn't, due to time constraints is next. We all know by now what happened to that resolution. Next on my spirited list happens to be taking a break, and I’m left wondering why I added that to the list, so I cross that out, I’ve had a break too many by now. I have been driven to wit's end with nothing constructive to do all this while, waiting for interview results.
Waiting is not my forte; as optimistic I am about clearing the rest of the job interviews i'v applied for, I don't see the point behind creating an atmosphere of suspense before declaring the results of an interview. It may seem professional to say-'we will get back to you soon', but it definitely isn't professional when 'soon' implies after a week or two. And thus, thanks to weeks of waiting, my current status reads 'jobless and still searching'. Contributing to my sorry state are the inhibitions my parents have about me working at certain places and for certain remuneration. They expect me to fetch above 1,40k annually being an English Honors graduate as anything below that is demeaning and moreover a place like Noida, which is on the outskirts of Delhi, is prohibited. They state the long distance I would have to drive but I know for a fact that playing at the back of their minds is the crime rate.
Oh well, so that brings me back to the pile on my desk again. Jobless with nothing much to do to make my days seem shorter; I resolve on clearing the mess. The list has to go, making place for a new one, the books I shall finish i'm sure, being the voracious reader that I am and all of this I shall do while still lost in 'My Jobless Reverie'!
Thursday, October 8, 2009
To kick the buque...
I have been reading a lot lately and since i am writing after a long hiatus i believe i am suffering from a verbal diarrhea-i have so much to talk about but with my meddled thoughts not yet in place. Apologies if the subject matter of my current discourse runs into the unsubstantial domain.
A month ago,the Swine flu scare actually prompted me to form a will(which i still have saved in the 'drafts' folder of my phone) in case i happened to kick the bucket. With no significant assets or belongings of my own, i ended up with a list of inconsequential items that i intended to give away-this included my clothes, bags, shoes, my precious collection of books, two silver rings i always wear, a minuscule bank balance, a collection of stolen pens and a personal diary. As i sit typing this post, temptation urges me to a glimpse of the will in case i missed anything- the flu has caught up with me soon enough yet i sit typing with a running nose, a sore throat and the possibility of death by the H1N1 virus ;)
With friends and family reading this i expect isolation and overlooked party invites:), leaving me ample time to implement another 'brilliant' idea that just struck me-a bucket list. Might as well tune out all responsibilities and constrictions and have a ball before i fade out, but then that's precisely what i have been up to all along...oh well..let the good times roll:)
A month ago,the Swine flu scare actually prompted me to form a will(which i still have saved in the 'drafts' folder of my phone) in case i happened to kick the bucket. With no significant assets or belongings of my own, i ended up with a list of inconsequential items that i intended to give away-this included my clothes, bags, shoes, my precious collection of books, two silver rings i always wear, a minuscule bank balance, a collection of stolen pens and a personal diary. As i sit typing this post, temptation urges me to a glimpse of the will in case i missed anything- the flu has caught up with me soon enough yet i sit typing with a running nose, a sore throat and the possibility of death by the H1N1 virus ;)
With friends and family reading this i expect isolation and overlooked party invites:), leaving me ample time to implement another 'brilliant' idea that just struck me-a bucket list. Might as well tune out all responsibilities and constrictions and have a ball before i fade out, but then that's precisely what i have been up to all along...oh well..let the good times roll:)
Friday, July 31, 2009
The Lechers, the Women and the City!
The male population just does not give up on surprising me with its atrocities and quite demeaning behavior. Just when least expected does a man come up with such a degraded level of lewdness, that one is left appalled at the state of things. Considering the fact that Delhi is the capital of a country that is on the path to becoming one of the major world economies; it is assumed to contain a class of sophisticated urban dwellers with a 'modern outlook'. Sadly the only 'class' which monopolizes most of Delhi's streets and corners is the lecherous male with sight that constantly rests anywhere below the head, which leaves to the imagination headless 'objects' walking around solely for the salacious gaze of 'man-kind'.
A few personal experiences have left me 'scarred' for countless miserable days. Now there are so many of these atrocities that occur so frequently, that they can be categorized into groups:
A whistle,comment or a lascivious gesture whilst passing by a rowdy group of men(even boys as young as 12) are common place and do occur quite frequently.
The second type of bullies will stare unblinkingly until they make you uncomfortable and then go home feeling victorious for having partially 'raped' a woman's modesty with their gaze.
Then there are the 'dudes' who corner you with their vehicles and without hesitation, are capable of boldly flashing you with their 'assets'.
The last sort of men who also do form the very bottom of this abhorrent order are those who do not think twice before treating any woman on the street as their own property. They simply emerge out of nowhere and take pleasure in groping around with their filthy hands before scooting off, leaving the victim in a state of shock. Now for such cowards, a woman is objectified and dealt with similarly. Now this is one group that women particularly would like to take vengeance upon.
These are just a few sort of 'male types' that women encounter everyday at every corner of the city. The very few who are caught are soon let off with a warning and so continues their modus operandi in making life hell for women.
A few personal experiences have left me 'scarred' for countless miserable days. Now there are so many of these atrocities that occur so frequently, that they can be categorized into groups:
A whistle,comment or a lascivious gesture whilst passing by a rowdy group of men(even boys as young as 12) are common place and do occur quite frequently.
The second type of bullies will stare unblinkingly until they make you uncomfortable and then go home feeling victorious for having partially 'raped' a woman's modesty with their gaze.
Then there are the 'dudes' who corner you with their vehicles and without hesitation, are capable of boldly flashing you with their 'assets'.
The last sort of men who also do form the very bottom of this abhorrent order are those who do not think twice before treating any woman on the street as their own property. They simply emerge out of nowhere and take pleasure in groping around with their filthy hands before scooting off, leaving the victim in a state of shock. Now for such cowards, a woman is objectified and dealt with similarly. Now this is one group that women particularly would like to take vengeance upon.
These are just a few sort of 'male types' that women encounter everyday at every corner of the city. The very few who are caught are soon let off with a warning and so continues their modus operandi in making life hell for women.
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