Sanity amidst chaos!

I return to blogsphere with much to talk about and with changed perceptions, of course someone as fickle minded as me is bound to have a different perception every day but the past two months have passed henceforth-

The hectic month included a no-so-heart-breaking break-up, a growing proximity to work, an increasing remoteness to friends, a new found aversion to food and socialising and a body that has failed me at crucial moments. Not one of my usual cranky rants this, just an account of the astonishingly mundane routine I have settled into.

Waking up to an empty house with no breakfast in bed might be complaints only the pampered are allowed to make, but not something I particularly like myself. Then again waking up to the reflection of my vain self in the mirror and realizing I look much older than my 18-year-old self is no consolation. Then comes the sense of dread. I have to make it to work, do I drive? no it's too expensive. Maybe I will because I'm too lazy to take the metro. Or maybe I won't 'cuz the guys in human resources are sure to find 10ways to deduct my salary...how to survive?

A typical work day revolves around trying to adapt with work shirkers and blame shifters and tolerance to deal with excuses and problems that aren't really my business. But pleasing people is what it takes I've learnt. You smile when you hate and you do good when you feel like killing someone. Doing good, working hard and solving people's problems gives me a sense of superiority which is calming.

People say don't let your contacts and the nature of your job (which in many situations puts me in the position of power) get to your head. After about five months I say-I never got the chance to let it get to my head. There was always someone to point out errors when I'd thought I'd done a good job, always someone to shout at me for no fault of mine, always someone whispering-don't tell that person this (In which case I would be obliged to listen to bitching from both sides and keep it to myself), always that someone telling me to do something their way when I have clear instructions of doing it my way, always someone taking credit for what I have done, or have contributed towards. But I guess that's part of being at the grass root level, guess that keeps me grounded and as much as I hate routines, it is this chaotic routine that keeps me sane.